(posts still need to be posted on this website; currently the links still go to Reddit)

What is abuse?



“If people can’t control their own emotions then they have to start trying to control other people’s behaviour.” – Robin Skynner; John Cleese

“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you…” – Jill Blakeway

“How to not abuse someone. ‘Don’t hit them’ would be mentioned but wouldn’t be the focus. The focus would be on ‘don’t try to control them.'” – Holly, The Pervocracy

“You don’t know how to love people. You only know how to own them. And because people will never act just like you want them to, Mother, you’ll always feel betrayed….you’ll always feel cheated. But you’re the cheat, Mother. You’re the one who uses our love for you to try and control us.” – Orson Scott Card, Xenocide

“I think too much emphasis is put on love in general. I’ve heard of many atrocities done within families in the name of love but never in the name of respect.” – Elvira G. Aletta

Characteristics of abuse and abusive relationships

“The most insidious aspect of living with an angry or abusive partner is not the obvious—nervous reactions to shouting, name-calling, criticism or other demeaning behavior. It’s the adaptations you make to try to prevent those episodes.” – Steven Stosny

Couples therapy makes things worse for victims of abuse

If violence has been, and especially if it currently still is an issue in your relationship, then Couple Counselling is not recommended. Nor is Mediation if you are going through separation or divorce. Basically the abuse itself has to be dealt with BEFORE any form of joint counselling or mediation can be effective, and in the meantime can, at best, deflect from the actual problem and fudge responsibility issues. (source)


Emotional Regulation


Sense of Self

Coping Mechanisms: Adaptive and Maladaptive

Victim Responses

“I thought we had a communication problem. It turns out, we had a respect problem.” – /u/SunflowerRenaissance, comment


The healing/recovery process

Healthy relationships

The Toxicity of Neo-Enlightenment Thinking

Communicating your experience to a potentially skeptical audience

Reddit: on relationships and partners

Reddit: on parenting

Reddit: on emotional states

Reddit: on paradigms

Reddit: on argument

Being a human being