Love – actual love – makes us real to each other. It is as much a light as it is flame, and it calls us back to ourselves. There can’t be love where there is abuse. There isn’t light in that darkness. Stopping the cycle of abuse starts with understanding what love is and what love isn’t.
About
r/AbuseInterrupted started as my personal library after Google shuttered Google Reader, and became a project exploring vectors of abuse and power dynamics.
I wanted to stop the cycle of abuse in my own life and in my own family.
Over a decade later, and the subreddit became more than a repository of information, but a place where I worked on deconstructing the underlying elements of not only abuse and abusive systems, but of healing and restoration, and love.
This website is for the purpose of preserving and expanding this work, and I maintain all available and applicable copyrights.
© 2011-2025 Hayden Tompkins. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer: The information on this site is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Use of this site is at your own risk. Hayden Tompkins makes no warranties about the completeness, reliability, or accuracy of this information and disclaims all liability for any damages arising from your use of, or inability to use, this site.
Blog
Some abusers have state-specific beliefs
…meaning they may believe something while angry which they wouldn’t necessarily believe when they are happy, for example. Certain memories, beliefs, and learning are linked to the physiological and emotional state in which they were formed (and may only be accessible when in a similar state). State-specific beliefs might explain why abusers access certain hostile …
Behavior markers of abusers who enjoy humiliating victims
* “I dated someone like this, it took me a while to realize the pattern of them constantly humiliating me publicly. You realize it boosts their ego or they get a weird dopamine high from it. It’s awful.” – u/TheBulkyModel, comment * ‘It feels like this person is just constantly putting their significant other through …
Continue reading “Behavior markers of abusers who enjoy humiliating victims”
It’s not enough for them to simply have power, they have to force the victim into participating in their own destruction to prove it <—– abusers want victims to humiliate themselves
And then the shame the victim feels reinforces the abuser’s power, the fact that the victim ‘gave’ it to them or agreed to it, creating a self-sustaining cycle. The corruption of the victim is as important as the control itself. The abuser coerces or forces the victim into participating in their own degradation and humiliation, …
Contact
You can reach me at abuseinterrupted at gmail.com
abuseinterrupted@gmail.com