Someone can leave a relationship any time they want, for any reason they want.
It is entitled and controlling to seek to prevent someone from leaving a relationship they no longer want to be in.
Relationships are not a binding contract.
It is abusive to attempt to make them one.
Human beings have autonomy and freedom of choice, and that includes ending relationships.
Someone else feeling sad about that is not ‘undue distress’, it’s a normal response, and it is not the responsibility of the person ending the relationship.
This is what happens when people rush the dating (vetting) stage to get to the relationship phase.
People need to establish intrinsic compatibility, and therefore the negotiations made in a relationship aren’t ones that compromise someone’s free will or autonomy.
If people are not compatible, then they shouldn’t be dating.
Relationships are not arenas for control, and those who control in relationships are abusive.
Trying to change someone else’s clothes is often an early harbinger of someone who feels entitled to control.
Controlling what someone wears – other than your children or elderly dementia parents, in certain specific contexts – is abusive, and is often the first sign of coming abuse. That’s why it is on the list. And doesn’t stop there.
Just because you might be right does not entitle you to control another adult human being.
Determining who you will and will not have in your life, what relationships you will or will not have, is one of the most fundamental boundaries we have.
And people make that choice all the time, regardless of whether abuse has been a factor in the relationship dynamic or not.
Anyone at any time can decide to withdraw from an adult relationship, for any reason.