Overly accommodating partners don’t often set hard boundaries so it’s harder for them to clock when an abuser is an abuser or a selfish person is selfish: they’re giving this person the benefit of the doubt and also trying to be a good partner

That’s why the difference is so stark when the do finally put their foot down about something. It’s because it is important to them, and they have an expectation that the abuser is their partner and will support them or care the way the victim always did.

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