People have a belief that you have to ‘opt out’ of dating someone versus ‘opting in’
…as in, you have to have a good reason to not date someone versus you having to have a good reason to date someone.
But we are not available to date anyone who decides they want to date us
…and we do not have to qualify our decisions or choices to anyone. People acting like you do believe they are above you in a hierarchy, and that you should not only do what they say but accept what they say as reality.
They have made themselves judge and jury over you and your decisions, and they often believe that you have to disqualify someone instead of qualifying them.
But it’s healthier and safer to opt people IN versus everyone being ‘in’ by default.
You don’t have to justify your preferences or decisions at all.
Being in a position of choosing to opt someone IN to being a dating prospect means that you are in a position to establish compatibility before making yourself vulnerable.
These friends or parents may attack your character by calling you “high maintenance’…which is them telling on themselves.
Even if it were true – which it isn’t – you’re entitled to be whatever level of maintenance you want. You’re an adult, you choose for you, and they are not entitled to an explanation.
Anyone who extends a ‘potential datee’ more benefit of the doubt than you, the person they actually know, is either being judgmental of you or doesn’t trust you.
You are not obligated to date someone unless you can come up with a good reason not to.
Not dating anyone unless there is a good a reason to do so makes infinitely more sense.